A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown, but I assure you, it was a breakdown. What do these people have in common? I connect with God through my weakness vulnerability not my strength. When I know that I am loved and valuable I am free to love others and fully connect with them. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. We must never tolerate dehumanization—the primary instrument of violence that has been used in every genocide recorded throughout history.
And raging, fearful people from the right and left are crossing it at unprecedented rates every single day. I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.
I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening. They thought this was fundamental. Connection, however, is what we long for. My husband left town with the kids because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing, where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? One of the things that I think we need to think about is why and how we numb.
You can do anything you want. We live in a vulnerable world. . Does this sound like you or someone you know? We move away from a belief in common humanity and unifying change and move into blame and shame. The other thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. Brene asked people about connection. So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller.
Carl Jung argued that a paradox is one of our most valued spiritual possessions and a great witness to the truth. To brave the wilderness and become the wilderness, we must learn how to trust ourselves and trust others. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. I do think a note of caution is important when choosing who you will be vulnerable with. We want to be a part of something, but we need it to be real — not conditional or fake or constantly up for negotiation. True belonging does not require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.
And so here's what I found. If there's anyone who wants their life to look like this, it would be me, but it doesn't work. They're hardwired for struggle when they get here. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain. And I know that's knowing laughter.
Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why we're here. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. We need true belonging, but what exactly is it? It is a skill that is acquired over time as you push through the little things in life that scare you. Not only did face-to-face contact emerge as essential from the participant data in my research, but studies across the world confirm those findings. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. Brown contends that courage is impossible without vulnerability and that it should be considered a skill, not a personality trait. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five 1 New York Times bestsellers: , , ,, and her latest book, , which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.
And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability. Know that you can create a better reality in the future if you trust yourself and your abilities. You know how blame is described in the research? The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. The Bible says this about Jesus… Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.